I missed the memo about vanity, vulcans, and verbicide.
Let’s just cut to the chase here…I got some bad Botox, folks. I’m not an habitual Botox-er, but I have a Botox “connection” and with my birthday coming up, I thought I’d indulge in a little facial freshening. I’d had Botox once before with great results, so I thought, “What could go wrong?”
A day after my Botox treatment, I noticed that I was taking on a vaguely Vulcan appearance. My eyebrows, once basically horizontally oriented on my face, are now more diagonal. The expression is one of unpleasant surprise, which is appropriate, as this is how I feel.
I called up my Botox-er and inquired about my predicament and she told me that what I am experiencing is called…wait for it…”Spocking”. No lie…there’s a name for this and that name is awesomely descriptive. Apparently, I have ridiculously strong forehead muscles which have not completely surrendered to the neurotoxins to which I have subjected them. They may relent in a day or two, but if not, the “cure” is, you guessed it, more Botox.
When I was researching this phenomenon, which is kind of common apparently, e.g., Nicole Kidman, a lot of the people posting on Botox message boards prefaced their comments by saying:
“I can’t believe I did this to myself.”
Yup. While I do think I look a little ridiculous, I’m keeping the hysteria in check by telling myself that this is both temporary and not that big of a deal. But I am feeling pretty foolish. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to look good, but I’m going to have to think a bit longer and harder about the price of my vanity. Confronted with the prospect of “just another drop or two” of Botox to correct my extraterrestrial eyebrows, I’m now really conflicted. If my brows do stay this way, part of me thinks I should just live with them for the next couple of months as a penance for my folly. Oh well, at least my frown lines are gone.
And incidentally, when I Googled “spocking” I got a fantastically filthy surprise from urbandictionary.com. (I was comforted by knowing I was exhibiting an appropriate facial expression while reading this, however.) Seriously, for any word you can think of, someone has thought up a truly disgusting and/or hilarious meaning for it.
So there you go. I’ve learned a lesson in aging gracefully and lots of new dirty words. Memo received.