I missed the memo about Oktoberfest.

My first name is Jamie, the feminine of James, as in King James, the old dead white guy.  My maiden name is Walker, like the shortbread. Short, white bread, that is.  So yeah, I’m ridiculously caucasian and I’ve always been a little embarrassed about that.  I once dated a very inappropriate Italian guy, whose shortcomings in character I forgave because I had always daydreamed about marrying someone with a last name that ended with a vowel.  I thought it would make me a more interesting person.

But turns out that the love of my life is named Ryan Ball.  Aw, c’mon!  Not only did I trade one boring Anglo name for another, I get one full of crazy pun potential.  Fine.  Fantastic.  “Jamie Benevento” would have been a little more colorful, but after all these years, I find that “Jamieball” suits me pretty well.  (And that’s no typo…people tend call me “Jamieball” like it’s all one word, but that’s another memo.)

So yeah, I’m white. And even with all of the benefits society affords me as a consequence, I’ve always felt like a woman without a color, and thus without much culture.  Just plain vanilla.  That was, until,  I attended my first Oktoberfest celebration. 

I polka’d . I yodelled.  I drank beer and downed shots of Jagermeister. There were seriously joyous people in laderhosen and drindl who were unapologetically corny and unironic in their enjoyment of all the festivities.  I loved it.  It was the first time I’d ever gone to a party and not felt tragically unhip.  I feel I have reasonably good social graces, but I am not and never have been particularly cool.   So it was so awesome to be around a whole gaggle of people who were likewise cool-challenged, but nonetheless, having ridiculous amounts of fun. 

I’m not sure I can parlay Oktoberfest into a cultural identity (at least not without starting to sound like a skinhead), but at least I’ve got an inkling of what it feels like to have a distinct heritage, and I suppose it kinda feels like a good buzz. 

So far I’ve only been to Oktoberfest events here in the States, and it’s on my Bucket List to get to Munich one year.  I think it’s a testament to the fact that Oktoberfest people really are my people that when watching the following video, I was laughing with them rather than at them (mostly). 

 

Roll out the barrel and memo received.

I missed the memo about Dark Energy. 

This past week a trio of sexy uber-geeks were awarded the Nobel Prize for physics for their work which has advanced the understanding of a phenomenon called Dark Energy.  Oversimplified, Dark Energy explains why it is that the universe is expanding at an accelerated pace.  There were some crazy sophisticated telescopes and supernovae involved in figuring this out, but since I was about a C+ physics student, I’ll tap out now in trying to explain it any further. 

When I heard about Dark Energy, I kinda got the heebie jeebies. I mean, I’m already freaked out by entropy, so now I have to deal with the idea that not only are things falling apart, they’re falling apart faster than expected.  Am I the only one who is totally freaked out by this?

The concept of Dark Energy invites the inevitable discussion of The Force, as in, “Use The Force, Luke.” 

In the Star Wars mythology, The Force has a light side, a dark side and it holds the universe together, kind of like duct tape.  Turns out the true state of cosmological affairs might not be too different from Star Wars.  Gravity draws stuff together; Dark Energy pushes stuff apart. And apparently the universe is comprised of a whole lot of Dark Energy.  No wonder I am so tired trying to keep body and soul together.

Another thing about Dark Energy that kind of rocked my world is that it apparently comprises three quarters of the universe, yet until a few years ago, no one knew it existed. Talk about your missed memos. The idea that something can be ubiquitous but somehow imperceptible is pretty trippy.  But here’s the thing…maybe Dark Energy wasn’t discovered until recently because its existence doesn’t fit neatly into  what we already understood about cosmology.  It’s hard to see something that’s not supposed to exist, even if it’s right in front of your face.  My brain isn’t wired to understand these things, but apparently the discovery of Dark Energy represents a revolutionary shift in the way we’re to understand the universe.  I’m not sure what that means, but if permits the advent of teleportation technology like in Star Trek, then I’m totally down with it. 

I’m not sure what my point is here, and maybe I don’t really have one.  I’m just looking at the stars a little differently these days.  And knowing that there’s a lot of dark energy out there makes me a little more grateful for the light. Stargazing, and memo received.