One Week


This time last week, I was making an attempt at serious poetry.  In doing so, I acknowledged that I hadn’t made the effort to write a proper poem in quite a long time, but stupid song parodies?  That’s right in my wheelhouse!  (Remind me to tell you about the parody of Air Supply’s “All Out of Love” I wrote about my boobs…that was a doozy.)

Anywho…in keeping with notion that you have to laugh or cry, I’m trying to laugh a little. As long as we’re lifting our voices, someway, somehow, it’s something.

With sincere apologies to Barenaked Ladies….

It’s been one week since you took the oath
Stood out in the rain
And acted crazy
Five days since you lost your mind
And that skinny blonde went nuts on Chuck Todd
Three days since the interview
When you lied through your teeth and no one believed you
Yesterday, you disgusted me
But it may still be four years ‘til we say “You’re fired”.

OMG, can you stop tweeting?
It bears repeating
That you’re still acting like an asshole
This is no longer a joke
But if we give you enough rope
You’ll hang yourself
When you try to run it up the flagpole

Melt like a snowflake when you’re lying
People start dying
When they can’t afford the M.D.
Facebook is now a war zone
It’s ‘cause of your tone
And all your promises are empty

Your tan is fake and you’re a snake
Your awful hair, it takes the cake
Srsly, what the hell is wrong with you?
Hey I don’t like Pence
But he’s not dense
The new White House is getting tense
Think there’s going to be a bloody coup?

How can I help it that I think that you’re in bed with Vlad?
Trying hard not to cry, though I feel sad
You’re the kind of guy who shouldn’t be president
Can’t understand what you say
Or what that tweet meant
I have a tendency to believe that climate change is real
I have a history of calling my reps

It’s been one week since you took the oath
Yelled out at the Mall like Mussolini
Six days since the women marched
They came out in force and it was no joke
It’s been five days since the morning shows
With alternative facts and who the hell knows
Yesterday, you disgusted me
And it may be less than four years ‘til we say “You’re fired”.

When you say “China”, your mouth looks funny
You won’t show your taxes, so where’s all your money?
Watching Rachel Maddow and not sleeping
There’s been some weeping
I wish that this was all a bad dream
Like Liam Neeson we’ve all been Taken
By all the fakin’
And now no A-listers will support you

Like East Berlin you want a big wall
Just can’t believe your gall
Someone’s gotta pay for it, and so, who?
Gonna call and write my senator
Gonna soon show you the door
So we can save the country from a crazy demagogue
Gotta march and shout and write
Protest, resist, and fight, and we will
See the lifting of the fog

How can I help it if I think that you’re in bed with Vlad?
Trying hard not to cry, though I feel sad
You’re the kind of guy who can’t be the president
Can’t understand what you say
Or what that tweet meant
I have a tendency to believe that climate change is real
I have a history of calling my reps

It’s been one week since you got sworn in
The crowd was small, but bigly to you
Four days since you dared to say
That millions of votes were cast the wrong way
Three days since you slammed the door
On the huddled masses, the tired and poor
Yesterday, you disgusted me
And it will be less than four years ‘til we say “You’re fired.”

Less than four years ‘til we say “You’re fired”
Less than four years ‘til we say “You’re fired”
The scene in D.C. is looking quite dire…

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