Your Face or Your Ass


I didn’t get the memo about having to choose between your face and your ass. 

Catherine Deneuve has famously said:  “At a certain age, you have to choose between your face and your ass.”  Like most pretentious people, I am a Francophile and if I could trade faces with anyone in the world, it just might be Catherine Deneuve, so in my estimation, she knows a thing or two about beauty.

It’s a cruel reality that a person with a fuller face seems a bit less wrinkly, but with that full, youthful face may come a jiggly ass. Conversely, a skinny chick might have an ass you could bounce a quarter off of, but without some fat to plump up the wrinkles, her face might seem haggard.

What’s a girl to do? In this day and age, there are all manner of interventions available for both your face and your ass.  And of course there’s healthy living, which goes a long way towards  keeping you youthful from your eyebrows to your ankles.  But if you had to choose between a youthful face and a youthful ass, which would you choose? How do you make the choice?

I think I may be approaching that “certain age” that Ms. Deneuve was talking about.  While it hasn’t been a conscious choice, I suppose I’m choosing my face. Or maybe I just really like peanut M&Ms.  Either way, I’m not terribly stressed out about it…yet.

I think a little vanity is a good thing, but there’s no point in crying over spilled cellulite cream.  I’m thinking that with enough glucosamine and some good lighting, I can probably delude myself into thinking that I’m 25 for a good long time.  Yeah, that’s my anti-aging strategy.  Denial.  Memo received.

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6 thoughts on “Your Face or Your Ass

  1. Holly Roark February 11, 2011 / 5:41 pm

    Jamie – this is great! I have heard this quotation also attributed to Zsa Zsa Gabor. As my weight has fluctuated in the last 6 years or so, I have often thought of this choice. On my fattest days, I notice I look quite younger in the face, yet the rest of me looks like hell. Now that I have lost 20 or so pounds, my ass is starting to look great, but my face is starting to look its age: 42. What’s a girl to do? Although I have always been attracted to pretty faces, ultimately, I think I am choosing my ass. The joy of looking good in tight fitting clothes is a tradeoff for that “Madonnaface”.

  2. jamiewalkerball February 11, 2011 / 5:59 pm

    “Madonnaface” Ha! Her bod is awesome, but her face is a bit angular and hard these days. I suppose as long as you feel good, that’s what counts. With all your cycling, I’m guessing your ass is amazing these days! Rock on!

  3. Mama Mary February 14, 2011 / 9:54 pm

    My ass is jiggly AND I have a wrinkly face. What the hell happened to me? I guess I missed that memo too!

  4. Jeff Hall February 24, 2011 / 11:54 am

    Another great thing about being a man. My wrinkly face has “character” and my burgeoning waistline and huge ass evidence of a life “well-lived.” Girls become the universe’s punching bag again…

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