Your Face or Your Ass


I didn’t get the memo about having to choose between your face and your ass. 

Catherine Deneuve has famously said:  “At a certain age, you have to choose between your face and your ass.”  Like most pretentious people, I am a Francophile and if I could trade faces with anyone in the world, it just might be Catherine Deneuve, so in my estimation, she knows a thing or two about beauty.

It’s a cruel reality that a person with a fuller face seems a bit less wrinkly, but with that full, youthful face may come a jiggly ass. Conversely, a skinny chick might have an ass you could bounce a quarter off of, but without some fat to plump up the wrinkles, her face might seem haggard.

What’s a girl to do? In this day and age, there are all manner of interventions available for both your face and your ass.  And of course there’s healthy living, which goes a long way towards  keeping you youthful from your eyebrows to your ankles.  But if you had to choose between a youthful face and a youthful ass, which would you choose? How do you make the choice?

I think I may be approaching that “certain age” that Ms. Deneuve was talking about.  While it hasn’t been a conscious choice, I suppose I’m choosing my face. Or maybe I just really like peanut M&Ms.  Either way, I’m not terribly stressed out about it…yet.

I think a little vanity is a good thing, but there’s no point in crying over spilled cellulite cream.  I’m thinking that with enough glucosamine and some good lighting, I can probably delude myself into thinking that I’m 25 for a good long time.  Yeah, that’s my anti-aging strategy.  Denial.  Memo received.

6 thoughts on “Your Face or Your Ass

  1. Holly Roark's avatar Holly Roark February 11, 2011 / 5:41 pm

    Jamie – this is great! I have heard this quotation also attributed to Zsa Zsa Gabor. As my weight has fluctuated in the last 6 years or so, I have often thought of this choice. On my fattest days, I notice I look quite younger in the face, yet the rest of me looks like hell. Now that I have lost 20 or so pounds, my ass is starting to look great, but my face is starting to look its age: 42. What’s a girl to do? Although I have always been attracted to pretty faces, ultimately, I think I am choosing my ass. The joy of looking good in tight fitting clothes is a tradeoff for that “Madonnaface”.

  2. Jamie Walker Ball's avatar jamiewalkerball February 11, 2011 / 5:59 pm

    “Madonnaface” Ha! Her bod is awesome, but her face is a bit angular and hard these days. I suppose as long as you feel good, that’s what counts. With all your cycling, I’m guessing your ass is amazing these days! Rock on!

  3. Mama Mary's avatar Mama Mary February 14, 2011 / 9:54 pm

    My ass is jiggly AND I have a wrinkly face. What the hell happened to me? I guess I missed that memo too!

  4. Jeff Hall's avatar Jeff Hall February 24, 2011 / 11:54 am

    Another great thing about being a man. My wrinkly face has “character” and my burgeoning waistline and huge ass evidence of a life “well-lived.” Girls become the universe’s punching bag again…

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